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Danh ngôn của Jerry Seinfeld (Sứ mệnh: 6)

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.
Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.
Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.
Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it.
I like money, but it's never been about the money.
We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested.