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Danh ngôn của Lewis Grizzard (Sứ mệnh: 6)

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'
Yankees don't understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.
Things are more complex today, and I think humor has changed a a great deal. People are more sensitive today.
I don't think I'm a bigot or a racist. But I have a truck, a Blazer. I drink beer. There are some women I do hate.
I was raised to think women had babies, stayed at home, and men worked. By the time I got ready to do it, I thought I had all the answers. Only somebody had changed the questions.