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Danh ngôn của Mark Twain (Sứ mệnh: 2)

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
I never smoke to excess - that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
When in doubt tell the truth.
Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any.
Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
Loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
We have the best government that money can buy.
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: 'Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.'
India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.