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Danh ngôn của Ron White (Sứ mệnh: 4)

The next time you have a thought... let it go.
Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.
I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being true to their nature... that's what takes a long time to learn.
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.
The bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it's addicting, really.
That's the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media's radar.
The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith's 'What It Was, Was Football.' I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn't know what any of it meant.
A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you'll look cool, I don't get that. But I don't watch standup anyway, so I don't know what they're doing.
I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, 'I'm not even a 10th of this man.'
My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
I've got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called 'Jayne Mansfield's Car.' I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy.
I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
Vegas is famous for a lot of things, and bad marriages are one of them. Margo and I are proof that you can make this work. It just takes a little effort.
Movies are boring. It's like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It's just horrible. Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it's 18 hours of doing not a thing.
If you become famous and don't have a live show to back it up, they're not going to pay you any money.
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don't do a ton of it.