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Danh ngôn của Tommy Cooper (Sứ mệnh: 5)

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.
Gambling has brought our family together. We had to move to a smaller house.
I'm on a whisky diet... last week, I lost three days!
It doesn't matter how many times the audience has heard it before. If it's funny, it's funny.