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Danh ngôn của W. C. Fields (Sứ mệnh: 9)

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
I like children - fried.
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.