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Danh ngôn của Garrison Keillor (Sứ mệnh: 3)

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.
Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then.
I was an English major at the University of Minnesota, and I was very shy, which many people misinterpreted as intelligence. On the basis of that wrong impression, I became the editor of the campus literary magazine.
I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline, to let the adrenaline pick you up on Friday morning and carry you through, to cook up a monologue about Lake Wobegon and get to the theater on time.
Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.
My religion would be a gentle faith that believed in the sacredness of leisure. Napping as a form of prayer.
Cursing is highly effective in person - someone kicks his car in rage, forgetting he's wearing flip-flops, flames pour from his mouth, and it's impressive. But you see it in print, and it's just ugly.