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Danh ngôn của Phyllis Diller (Sứ mệnh: 8)

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.