Danh ngôn của Demetri Martin
If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!
If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!
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Tác giả: Demetri Martin | Chuyên mục: Funny | Sứ mệnh: [5]
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Các câu danh ngôn khác của cùng tác giả: Demetri Martin
- People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.
- I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar.
- I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
- I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
- The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.
Các câu danh ngôn khác của cùng chuyên mục: Funny
- I grew up playing hockey and some football, and I always think about the first time you walk into the locker room on a new team. The cliques are looking at you funny, and you make one friend, but then they're trying to stab you in the back.
- It's so funny, I've done so many projects where I've been interrogated. I guest starred on almost every hour drama, and I'm always the guy they think is the bad guy but then they find out is not.
- It's funny because if you ever ask anyone in England to try and do a Beatles accent, no one knows what they really sound like. If you ask anyone in America, they would try and give it a go. English people just know their songs.
- I was raised by women. Now I'm raising women. I was always better around girls. I live in an all-female household. I even have two female dogs... It's funny how that turned out.
- For me, I can't watch violence when it's too grotesque, and it's just like, that's revolting to watch. I don't enjoy it. But when it's a Tarantino film, I'm lining up outside the door to see it, and I'm expecting to see something really crazy, a lot of blood, and for it to be funny.