I grew up playing hockey and some football, and I always think about the first time you walk into the locker room on a new team. The cliques are looking at you funny, and you make one friend, but then they're trying to stab you in the back.
It's so funny, I've done so many projects where I've been interrogated. I guest starred on almost every hour drama, and I'm always the guy they think is the bad guy but then they find out is not.
It's funny because if you ever ask anyone in England to try and do a Beatles accent, no one knows what they really sound like. If you ask anyone in America, they would try and give it a go. English people just know their songs.
I was raised by women. Now I'm raising women. I was always better around girls. I live in an all-female household. I even have two female dogs... It's funny how that turned out.
For me, I can't watch violence when it's too grotesque, and it's just like, that's revolting to watch. I don't enjoy it. But when it's a Tarantino film, I'm lining up outside the door to see it, and I'm expecting to see something really crazy, a lot of blood, and for it to be funny.
I love being a mum. Sophia is so funny and has a great personality.
I definitely started to perform a little bit in middle school, but not the typical musical/play route. I think that I am funny, but it was more of a social thing, where that was my part in my circle of friends.
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
Naked dudes are inherently funny.
I love 'AP Bio' - I think it's so funny - it's just not the show I want to do.
'Come out' is so funny to me because I've never been in.
The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way, you can break the ice. It's crazy, but even at funerals, people will get huge laughs.
Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
I love hearing about bad behavior. It's just so funny to me. Especially, grown ups acting like weird, inconsolable babies over really stupid things, to me, is really funny.
A funny thing happened to me on the way to the White House.
It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.
I'd love to do something funny. Our work often deals with tough subjects. You do your research and it can be quite dark. So after all these years of drama, I'd like to go to work someday with the sole intention of making people laugh.
If you look at shows like 'Def Comedy Jam' in its heyday, there were so many really funny, talented black comics that never would have gotten on that show because they just weren't doing comedy that fit that mold.
As a comedian, it really gelled when I started doing standup. Because standup is so much about bravery, especially in the early days. There is no doubt that it is going to go terribly for you over and over and over again. But you cannot get funny without bombing.
There are many Bollywood actresses who work in the South and speak Tamil or Malayalam, and though it is correct, we find it funny sometimes.
You can't fake comedy. You can't make it look beautiful or put an interesting bit of music on in the background: funny can only be funny if you're funny.
In the U.K. and Ireland, crowd-work is a big thing. It shows you how funny someone would be if you met them off-stage. Americans don't care if you're funny off-stage. They want to see the writing; they want to see the work you did.
Apparently, my father was funny. I didn't really know him, but people have theories that the gag-smith gene trickles down through the blood amongst other terrible traits like a big nose and a temper.
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
I like Jacques Derrida; I think he's funny. I like my philosophy with a few jokes and puns. I know that that offends other philosophers; they think he's not taking things seriously, but he comes up with some marvellous puns. Why shouldn't you have a bit of fun while dealing with the deepest issues of the mind?
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
When you see things upside down, the ego can be extraordinarily funny; it's absurd. But it's tragic at the same time.
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
People don't expect me to be as funny as I am.
I've seen many female comics that a lot of people haven't heard of who are so funny, and I saw them come up, and they were working so hard, and then all of a sudden they had a baby, and they just got tied up in motherhood, and eventually, they kind of just stopped doing stand-up, and I thought it was such a shame.
My goal is really to just make people laugh with integrity, like, with something that I still find funny.
And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that's funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there's all kinds of advantages to it.
For 35 years, I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren't funny. Some of them weren't appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder.
I have seen and heard comedians who had really funny 'stuff' but yet could not make the people laugh; then, again - I have seen others whose stuff was anything but humorous, and the audience would howl with laughter.
So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.
I get a stack of scripts, like, once a month, and most of the time, you find these placeholder girls that are there to provide a bounce for the male character. So we know he's funny because she's serious and she's mad at him. We know he's strong because she needs saving. So really, her job is to validate this personality trait of our hero or male.
I think the kick to doing comedy is just to get in a film with really funny people and let them do their jobs. I find that in most comedies, I'm not the funny one, which works out great.
Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.
A joke is just a paintbrush. It takes someone funny to paint something beautiful.
Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.
My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
I think the eyes flirt most. There are so many ways to use them.
I love readings and my readers, but the din of voices of the audience gives me stage fright, and the din of voices inside whisper that I am a fraud, and that the jig is up. Surely someone will rise up from the audience and say out loud that not only am I not funny and helpful, but I'm annoying, and a phony.