Danh ngôn thuộc danh mục: funny

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

My big brother Ryan was funny and unfailingly kind. He was one of the most talented musicians you might encounte, and had a prodigious ability to pick up any instrument and play it by ear within the span of a single day.

He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.

The human brain is a funny thing: it's very susceptible to tempo and melody. You put the right words to it, and it becomes very influential.

I'm probably not very funny. The scripts just don't come in, or the ones that do aren't that good. I suppose I'm just an old drama queen, really.

Funny enough, the most discrimination I've ever gotten as a woman in this industry has been from other women.

It's my mission to get the New Zealand accent into a Hollywood show. I'm proud of the way we talk, and I'm here to represent it. Kiwis are everywhere: they're in every city of the world. I've checked. We have a voice... it's a bit of a funny one at times, but it's one that I want to promote.

I love airports because funny things always happen at them. They're giant complexes full of urgency, seriousness, and confusion. Where am I supposed to be? Which way do I go? And that's just the staff.

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

You're unlikely to discover something new without a lot of practice on old stuff, but further, you should get a heck of a lot of fun out of working out funny relations and interesting things.

Ego is hilarious - especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he is or about how many stadiums he can fill, he stops being funny.

There's a fine line between angry and grumpy. Angry isn't nice, but grumpy is funny.

When you're in the editing room, the dangerous thing is that it becomes like telling a joke again and again and again. Eventually, the joke starts to not be funny. So you have to be careful that you're not throwing the baby out with the bath water.

There is something about sex that always brings out the funny in me. I think it's because we make such fools of ourselves over it.

Eyebrows are really important because they structure the face. In school it was funny because I was always the one walking around with tweezers plucking my girlfriends' eyebrows. I was really good; eyebrow tweezing runs in my family - my mother used to do mine, and I picked it up.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

My girlfriend doesn't think I'm funny at all.

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.

Every man has a sane spot somewhere.

The funny thing about insane people is that it is kind of the opposite of being a celebrity. Nobody envies you.

People think it's funny that I enjoy dreaming so much. I just use it as a form of entertainment. It's very private. I don't see my dreams as separate. I mean, half the time I'm wandering around dreaming anyway.

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.

When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart. I've met a lot of dramatic people who were stupid. But I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Funny thing about the volatile and biased French crowds. While they'd prefer to be cheering a countryman and giving his foreign opponent merry hell, if there was no Frenchman in the game, they'd always support a Continental player over an Englishman, an American, or an Australian.

You can't be a real spy and have everybody in the world know who you are and what your drink is. That's just hysterically funny.

I love funny Instagram filters. Where your face changes; your eyes become big, your mouth becomes protruded. I love all of that.

Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.

One picture is worth 1,000 denials.

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith's 'What It Was, Was Football.' I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn't know what any of it meant.

All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy.

This is the great thing about Northern Ireland. I walk down the street and people stop me and say things like, 'I know you. You're that wee golfer, aren't you?' I say, 'Yeah, that's me.' They say, 'Keep it up, wee man.' It's very funny and that's why I want to stay here as long as possible.