There are so many funny women in the world, and there has been for so many years, so I'll be happy when people can just move on from that, and things can just be 'comedies' and not 'female' or 'male,' and everyone gets an equal opportunity.
When I'm being funny, I try not to offend. I don't think much of what I've done has been in really ghastly taste. I don't think I have embarrassed many people or distressed them.
I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people.
I think, on the rap side of life, I've always been inspired by and respected Missy Elliott for a long time. She's funny and created an image for herself that was non-sexualized but was really interesting and really cool and really kind of avant-garde in a lot of ways.
It's funny, because I have periods where I just kind of go dark. I don't tweet, I don't talk, I don't interview, and then I have times where I do.
Flea markets are fun because they are the ultimate treasure hunt. Be open to the fact that you never know what you'll find. The most beautiful, quirky, funny, scary pieces may not have an intrinsic value.
What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh, and because I know a couple of people that talk like that. They're really that Southern. And they do funny things. I love 'em; they're awesome. They're good people.
It's funny, I used to say on 'That 70's Show', you could really put us in any decade, and it was about the people and the characters and that we cared about each other.
Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Eddie Drake is sort of this loose cannon, funny, edgy guy, who has this really foolish, foolish mustache.
I never thought of myself as like, a funny person.
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
Communism is like one big phone company.
I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you break them?
There isn't a lot I can do on this planet, but I can be funny.
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you say something and the whole room goes, 'What did he say?'
Harry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy.
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
I want to push that no matter what race you are, you're never just a sidekick or broken character. You're the main character, you're the funny character, you can be whatever you want.
It's funny, but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have.
I have Slavic fat pads that make me look like a chipmunk and arched predatory eyebrows. With that, you're not going to get funny. That's why I play so many bad guys.
It was a scandal when I did French 'Playboy' in 2008, though I was never actually nude in it. I think it's really funny that I'll have a cover of 'Playboy' to show my grandkids.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
I'm a funny guy. I want people to laugh. I laugh at myself, I make fun of myself. But at the end of the day everything that I say has a message in it.
Being funny is my biggest differentiator, and I think I'd be a fool not to use that, and there's nothing I enjoy personally more than making a human being laugh. But then, I also think I have a serious side to me.
Why do I want to annoy people? Because annoying people is funny.
People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast.
You see much more of your children once they leave home.
Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.
One funny thing is, though, I wear my watch on my right hand and I'm actually right-handed. People always wonder why - I don't know myself, I've just always done it that way and I like it the way a good watch fits on my right wrist.
It's funny - sometimes when you approach people they get freaked out but occasionally you'll find a gem who's unselfconscious in front of the camera.
I think it's funny when people, they try to imitate the 'Chandelier' video. I think it's hilarious.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.
If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
I don't say things to be offensive; I say things because they're funny to me. It amuses me.
Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.